It was dark in the room with a peaceful silence. Rocking chair was breaking the silence in a rhythm, pouring a strange beauty into the environment. Aroma of her hot coffee was adding the meaning to the beautiful silence. Her mind was roaming around the journey she has made to by so far. This peaceful sense of contentment was taking her to, many years back in a cottage of a mesmerizing yet a helpless village. Where she started to dream of a better life. She wanted to see herself doing good for people as she see her family looking up to someone else for a mean of living. She had been watching her father working hard for small amount of money to get them one time meal. She had been looking her siblings wasting their time because they were not able to afford education expenses. It wasn’t a one day dream or a few days struggle to reach where she is today. She knew that the dream she has hidden somewhere in her heart is something not even acceptable to people around her. She was dreading to face the reality where comments like “door k dhol suhanay” jaagti ankhon k khwab pooray nahi hotay” “khwaab khwaab hi rehte hen” “apni awqaat k se barh k khwaab na dekho” “chaadar dekh k paoun phelana chahye” and so on….were waiting for her to discourage.
The train of her thoughts has now stopped at a name and an image appears in front of the closed eyes. Pleasantly, the pain in the feelings was replaced with love and warmth. She can even sense the fragrance of the person. How strange it is that we think of someone and it changes everything around us. The smile on her face could easily tell the value of the person in her life. And when we see such situation usually people relate it as ‘someone special’ most of the time. In her case it’s not, love is still something she struggles within herself about. Yes, it was ‘someone special’ but in a complete different way. It was the person who made her journey not painless but at least worth continued. May be you are thinking about financial helps or so? Yes, it could be at some point but mainly it was about a hand of kindness in the cruel world. A hand with kindness and care was all she had ever been needed. She was never been physically weak, but her surroundings never made her realized about the strength she had. She started off with a mindset of DO or DIE, as at the point she had nothing to lose.
She is not only by heart grateful but also as an expression of gratitude, she has now become someone to whom people find easy to look for support because she believes that a kind and warm hand to hold may make a toughest journey bearable, the hardest battle win. In her whole journey from being nothing to someone blessed enough who is able to help people in need, she has seen wonders of kindness only. No doubt everyone has their own battle and they have to fight themselves, but she always believes in the power of love which may make people to continue with hope. The person she is still smiling thinking off is not any relative or a blood relationship, nor any intimate relationship. It is very surprising to know that this kind heart was also a woman, yes in this era of competition a woman became a pillar to another woman. And yes, they made it to now together, where she has everything she once dreamt secretly for. The sense of connection is so strong that made her a totally changed person with a changed approach towards life. That’s how she defines the power of kindness and humanity, which she has now made her own meaning for life.
As an individual living in a society, looking people struggling in different areas of life I would like to raise some questions. How often do we think of importance of being kind? How often do we appreciate kind people? How often do we acknowledge the warmth feelings someone gives us? How often are we aware of what we are transferring to people around us? I don’t think it’s too often. Being into profession related to human emotions and behaviors, I see a lot of people complaining about flaws and negativity around the corner. Yes, it is true that there are flaws out there which need to be addressed and yes, we do have a role to make improvements. But whenever I ask what do think you may do one thing to improve any one flaw you talk about? Usually people shift the topic or blame the authorities. Writing this article my main focus is appreciation of good things around us. In the above story, no doubt the lady had been through a lot in her journey from being helpless to a helping hand for other people. But may be the pain throughout the struggle will not be as powerful to her now as the strength of love and kindness. I know, to many of my readers still it would be something not worth talking this much about. And to them, I would say sometime smallest action may glow up someone’s whole life.
Let’s have a look to another angle, when did someone appreciated you last time? And then how did it feel? And when did you appreciated someone last time? And when did you acknowledge someone’s small act last time? How long it was when you last pointed someone’s mistake with a touch of appreciation? It’s not that I want to keep my eyes close to the flaws that need to be focused, it’s only that I would like us to try power of positive emotions instead of constant criticism to make things betters. Let’s try something new, let’s try spreading some positive vibes. Let’s try spending one day without complaining. Let’s spend one day only complimenting and appreciating people around us for their smallest things like ‘you’re looking fresh’ ‘thank-you for helping me’ thanks for waiting’ ‘you did a great job’ ‘you completed this in time, well done’ etc….and Let’s see how the power of words and emotions work !
By Sana Fatima
Sana Fatima is a seasoned clinical psychologist, internationally certified and faculty member of Greenwich University and Bahria University. Running her own entrepreneurial venture with the name of The Mitigators. Sana is a qualified hypnotherapy practitioner and also certified in Humanistic Integrative Counseling from CPPD and worked for one of the top NGO. Sana is a registered member of PACP, Pakistan Association of Clinical Psychologists and has expertise in the areas of marital, personal and career counselling.